262: High ambition but mediocre action, Kid blames mom for low self-esteem

In today's show, Dr. Lisle answers:  My daughter was recently informed by her therapist that self esteem is created in the first five years of life. My daughter feels now that I failed her in This regard as I was the primary caregiver.  Essentially she feels her unhappy life is now my fault. Why do so many therapists focus so very much on upbringing and early life experiences vs genetics? I have a highly ambitious streak but can’t seem to string together any consistent action since I graduated university and settled into a job.  My concern is, am I doomed to mediocrity? What use would it be for me to have these feelings of missed opportunity, boredom at work and the desire for more if I have a personality that checkmates all my efforts. Dr Howk suggested in a previous episode, without high conscientiousness it is very unlikely one will be able to create any lasting habits/ stick to the fundamentals. Is there anything I can do because as Dr Lisle says we can’t change our nervous system? Am I doomed to live a life of what could have been? Dr Lisle has spoken on previous episodes regarding running an experiment in order to engage your self esteem mechanism and feel the pride that comes with doing a good job. This pride will supposedly allow you to get on a path of self improvement. I could see how this process can be effective at turning off the feelings of frustration that come with doing a mediocre job. However in a previous episode Dr lisle also mentioned that boredom is a sign that you are not learning much at work and a signal for you to use your time more productively. How then does doing an excellent job and improving your self esteem signals bear on tasks you find boring? Can doing a good job and improving your self esteem signals make these tasks that are the “right of passage” as a junior employee feel less like drudgery? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus