Why Bouncing Back Is A Lie (And What Resilience Really Looks Like)

What if the most resilient people aren’t the ones who bounce back quickly—but those who allow themselves to break, feel, grieve, and still move forward?In this heartfelt episode, we explore tragic optimism—a powerful reframe introduced by Viktor Frankl—and how it allows us to hold both pain and hope without bypassing either. You’ll learn how real resilience comes not from fixing or rushing, but from the ability to live with the full truth of what is and keep going anyway.We’ll explore:• Why “bouncing back” is a cultural myth• What tragic optimism really means (and what it’s not)• The nervous system’s role in resilience and meaning-making• The 3 Ps of pessimism—and how to unlearn them• Practical tools to regulate your body, reframe your thoughts, and hold space for grief and growth at onceThis is your invitation to stop striving to return to “how things used to be”—and instead, build capacity to bounce forward with wisdom, gentleness, and courage.Timestamps:00:00 – Resilient people aren’t the fastest to recover06:55 – When Breath Becomes Air & the phrase “devastatingly beautiful”10:14 – What tragic optimism really means (Viktor Frankl)13:05 – Why it’s not toxic positivity (Brad Stulberg’s take)15:15 – Introducing learned optimism (Martin Seligman)17:32 – The 3 Ps of pessimism and how to flip them20:18 – Why your nervous system must feel safe before optimism is possible23:12 – You can’t access nuance from a dysregulated state25:50 – The nervous system’s role in meaning-making28:36 – Post-traumatic growth: Making meaning, not finding it31:45 – What it means to hold both pain and hope33:58 – How to actually practice tragic optimism36:10 – Step 1: Reframe with “both/and” language37:15 – Step 2: Befriend your nervous system, not fight it38:48 – Step 3: Hold space for others with “Tell me more”40:10 – What resilience really looks like: bouncing forward41:50 – Why regulating isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about holding it43:30 – Final thoughts: You can be devastatingly beautiful too📝 Get My Resilience JournalA guided journal for emotional well-being and nervous system care📌 Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Journal-Anxiety-Management-Self-Care/dp/B0DNRSLV9F/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aXvnLQ5iNMBUxzQYYcrgjg.AteqhnbvcWMthzgND7lwUxHbtn59LfW9Y7jqFUK9X-M&dib_tag=se&keywords=Mental%2Bhealth%2BJournal&qid=1751362532&sr=8-1&th=1📌 Amazon CA: Buy Here:https://www.amazon.ca/Mental-Journal-Anxiety-Management-Self-Care/dp/B0DNRSLV9F?th=1🎓 Join the Nervous System Journaling ClubDoodle, journal, and heal in community:https://www.skool.com/nervous-system-journaling-club/about?ref=06e003b61b8148ebbafd3a067f3cc2e1Let’s Stay Connected:Instagram & Facebook: @leahdavidsonlifecoachingSubscribe to the Weekly Newsletter: leahdavidsonlifecoaching.com/newsletterEnjoyed the episode?Please leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. It helps more people discover these tools for healing and resilience. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.