CONNECTED PARENTING EPISODE 77 – Help! My Kid is a Sore Loser

Picture this; you're playing a board game, everything's going fine when all of a sudden your child pulls the wrong card or their sibling does well in the game and the tides turn. Your once happy, family fun night has now become loud, angry, and out of control. You hear; "This game is cheap, I hate this game!" and then sometimes things go even further; the board gets flipped and they stomp away really mad and upset. Losing is a pretty intense feeling and for some kids their feelings are bigger than they can maintain and hold into their little bodies. As a parent watching this, we sort of see their life flash before our eyes, and think; "who's going to want to play with him or her, they are such a terrible sport? But before we write their life journey off as impossible one of the things to keep in mind here is these moments are usually a far more intense display at home where a child is comfortable to let loose and there are a few things that you can do to help them learn how to manage their feelings. This week I want to talk about your kids being a sore loser and what can be done in those high intense moments where everything feels so out of control. MEET JENNIFER KOLARI Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid(Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).   Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would love to listen, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode, or want to be a guest on the show? Leave a comment in the section below or visit the website to contact me! Follow The Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon, or whatever your favorite podcast app is! Leave Us an Apple Podcasts Review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Don't forget to visit our Connected Parenting Youtube Channel! Check it out! Like us and Subscribe!  

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Connected Parenting shares techniques that therapists use to help parents soothe their child as well as enhance the parent-child bond and is based on the understanding that correcting and guiding behavior works best when it is preceded by and linked to empathy. At the heart of this parenting model is the CALM Technique which helps parents accurately attune to children’s affect and experience. These empathic interactions release reward chemicals in the brain that stimulate positive emotions and increase order and balance in the nervous system. Reward chemicals, including natural opiates, endorphins, and a powerful hormone called oxytocin, reduce and inhibit stress hormones and bathe the brain in positive emotions that ripple through every cell in the body. The benefits of empathy and compassion have a strong base in science that cannot be underestimated. Simply put, it is brain food, the emotional nutrition all of us need, perhaps our children most of all. Although many parenting techniques stress the importance of empathy, Connected Parenting will show you how to use it skillfully to repair frayed bonds, deescalate tantrums, contain and correct difficult behaviors and help your child to become more confident and emotionally resilient. We use a collaborative and supportive coaching model and provide inspirational, easy-to-understand techniques grounded in neuroscience and attachment. In the end, your child will be more compliant, more relaxed, and – most importantly – happier. Connected Parenting will bring out the best in you and your child.