129. How To Be Awesome At Having Compassion For People That Suck

It’s a part of life, we are doing to deal with people who suck.  Some are blissfully unaware of the impact that they have on those around them and others seem to get satisfaction from coming at other people or irritating them or judging them or otherwise creating chaos.  Either way, they suck!  They are creating unnecessary conflict, making things more complicated than they need to be and often causing so much stress and pain that could have completely been avoided.     But as we know- we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can decide how we define it and how we react to it.   So today, we’re talking about training ourselves to be ready for interactions with people who suck and dealing with it in a calm and compassionate way.  It’s not easy to do - but it’s essential if we are going to keep our stress levels low and protect our headspace.     It’s a very practical and positive episode about how to deal with people who suck.   Lindsay gets into how to not let these negative interactions weigh so heavily that you end up thinking most people suck.  Most people are awesome- we just let the interactions of those who suck weigh more heavily because they are more upsetting.  Today, we’re focusing on how to deal with it in a positive and compassionate way.       Lindsay explains how compassion is a sensitivity to suffering.   With these key points:  You don’t know the rocks in other people’s shoes.   They are likely putting their issues on you.   You get to chose if you make it bigger or let it die.      It’s often hard to see the beautiful people sometimes- because it’s not forced upon you as much and it’s not as aggressive.  Like if someone at the grocery store smiles at you and says they love our shoes- that’s so nice.  And then 5 minutes later if someone screams at you in the parking lot and throws you a gesture- you remember that so much more because it was so much more impactful and LOUD.  But it’s one person.  Lindsay is talking about how we can change how we think about that one person, how we react to that one person, and how it shouldn’t make us think or say that everyone is f-ed up.    We run into good people all the time - even just eye contact and a smile.    We are oddly attracted to negativity.  Like- do we need to go to war here?  When really it’s an online troll … really sad and sick people that have not found their path. The haven’t found any happiness, any fulfillment, any growth. They are stifled or rotten in some way so they are lashing out at the world.   Then you run into one of those people and you say… ah people suck!!    That’s the initial response but what we really want to do is have compassion for them.   And it’s NOT EASY.     But here’s what Lindsay has learned in researching this - we need to have as little stress in our life as possible.  So we have to prepare for people who suck and decide ahead of time how we are going to deal with it.   Lindsay breaks it down this way, depending on if it’s someone in your life that you see all the time, or a random interaction with a stranger.. here are some things to consider.     Some ways to practically manage it.    Cut them out.    Ignore them.    Limit interactions.   Know what it is and go into it prepared.     A few other highlights from this episode:    Limit time and energy from chronic complainers    Pick your battles    Don’t get sucked into irrational behavior    Don't let people push your buttons    Set boundaries   Don't let them limit your JOY   Forgive but you dont have to forget     PLAN to have compassion when someone sucks in your life.  It’s the key to less stress and a strong, positive mindset that can’t be torn down.