304. How To Be Awesome At Making Honesty Your Superpower

It may sound obvious, but honest, like real saying what you think,   I’m obsessed with being honest and direct because it does so much for you.    If you need to tell someone how you really feel or cancel on some thing or decline an invitation, be honest. Be kind and considerate and compassionate and have empathy… all those things. But just be honest.    Even if it stings for a second people will respect your honesty and It’s hard to be mad at the truth.   Honesty is a superpower because it allows you to go to sleep without crumbs!  You sleep well knowing you don’t have little stories to make sure you keep up with or the pressure of doing something that you really don’t want to do because you weren’t honest from the beginning.    Oh my gosh how much less complicated things are when you are direct and honest.  Rather than calling a friend or thinking about something for days- you know how you feel - be direct and honest and move on to the next.  Most things aren’t actually as big of a deal as we make them out to be.    You don’t have little white lies to keep track of, and you don’t hold on to the burden of things.  Think about how much more effective it is to talk to someone directly about something that is bothering you rather than not talk to them and talk to other people who can’t do anything about it and it just makes the problem bigger and stirs up complication. Often times, when you go straight to the source and you are honest, you can clear up miscommunications really quickly.   Being honest doesn’t mean just saying the first thing that comes to mind and bulldozing other peoples feelings. To me it’s completely the opposite.    When I think about what’s the best solution or the best way to handle a situation, it’s simple. Just be honest.  If someone asked me to invest in a company, and it’s not a good fit, I tell them that rather than making up an excuse, that’s not true          Examples!    At work! Direct approach: “Your report had a lot of valuable information, but the formatting and structure made it difficult to follow. We need it to be more organized to ensure clarity.” With empathy and compassion: “I can see how much effort you put into this report, and that’s really appreciated. I know making adjustments might feel like extra work, but a clearer structure will help showcase the quality of your insights even more.”     With kids! Direct approach: “You can’t stay up past your bedtime. It’s not allowed.” With empathy and compassion: “I know you really want to stay up longer and finish your game, but you need rest to feel good tomorrow. Let’s set a time to finish it tomorrow after you’ve slept well.”   Direct approach: “You didn’t clean your room, so you can’t go to the party.” With empathy and compassion: “I can see that cleaning your room wasn’t fun or easy, but it’s important to follow through on your responsibilities. Since you didn’t finish, you won’t be able to go to the party today, but we can plan something fun when you finish it later.”   Direct approach: “You hit your brother, and that’s not acceptable.” With empathy and compassion: “I saw you hit your brother, and that’s not okay. I understand you were upset, but hurting others is not how we solve problems. Let’s talk about why you were angry, and we can figure out better ways to handle those feelings next time.” With spouse!    Direct approach: “I don’t feel like you’re meeting my emotional needs.” With empathy and compassion: “Lately, I’ve been feeling like I need more emotional connection between us. I know we’ve both been busy, but I really miss the deeper conversations we used to have. Can we find some time to reconnect and share more with each other?”   Direct approach: “You’re not doing your share of the housework.” With empathy and compassion: “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with the housework lately, and it seems like I’ve been taking on more of the load. I know we both have busy schedules, but could we figure out a way to balance things better? It would really help me out.”     With friends!  Direct approach: “You’re always late, and it’s frustrating.” With empathy and compassion: “I really value our time together, but it’s been tough when you’re often late. I understand things come up, but it would mean a lot if we could make more of an effort to start on time. Is there something I can do to help?”       CHEERS to being your most awesome direct and honest self!!