88. "I Shouldn't Need Help"
Asking for help is one of the hardest things you can do. But it can also be one of the best - how good does it feel when YOU get asked for help by someone else? Let’s talk about breaking through the limiting beliefs that hold us back so we can start delegating tasks and become a better version of ourselves. How to Start Asking for Help Investigate your limiting belief that you shouldn’t ask Be vulnerable enough to ask for help Know exactly what you want so you can ask for the appropriate help Trust yourself that you need this help Why It’s So Hard to Ask for Help If the thought of asking for help makes you cringe, you’re not alone. So many of us struggle with asking for the help we know will make our lives easier. I want you to know that there is no weakness in asking for help. We’re surrounded by these limiting beliefs that asking for help makes us less. That we’re superhuman and are perfectly capable of handling everything on our own, thank you very much. But where did these beliefs come from? There’s fear in being vulnerable. But I believe that vulnerability is actually powerful. When you know that you need help and then ask for it, you regain control over a situation that probably felt extremely out of your control. The Power in Knowing What You Want The whole exercise in asking for help is going to help you understand yourself better. By bringing awareness to yourself and what you want, you’ll develop an understanding of how you can be a better version of yourself. I find it helps immensely to know exactly what it is you want help with. If you have no idea, I like to start by writing out my entire week’s to-do list. Then I go through with the “trash, delegate, and to-do” mindset and see what I actually need to do and what I can ask for help with. It’s probably going to feel uncomfortable when you first start asking for help, even on the things you know you want help with. That’s those limiting beliefs trying to shoulder their way back in. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, it’s the first step to getting out of that comfort zone. Find your person. Find the person that you can go to. Maybe all you tell them is that you know you need help, you just don’t know how to ask for it. Tell them what’s going on. Having a safe space to open up is so important. Find your person. If you can actually visualize who that person is for you, that’s a pretty big deal. I want to encourage you to be vulnerable. Be vulnerable in that space you deem safe. Practice asking for help. In This Episode Where we develop the belief that we shouldn’t need help [10:00] How vulnerability can be powerful [12:45] Why this whole process is about bringing awareness to you [17:00] Why it helps to know specifically what you want help with [19:45] The power of “Trash, Delegate, To-Do” lists [20:30] Why it might feel uncomfortable to ask for help, even when you want it [26:45] Quotes “We tell ourselves that we should not need help for basically everything. What that does is basically speaks to the idea that we’re setting this expectation that doesn’t meet human criteria. We somehow believe we have this extra, superhuman gene that we don’t need help.” [5:23] “If you are sensing that you need help in some area of your life, what I want you to think about is that if you are able to define what kind of help, specifically, you need, just notice if that feels a little bit lighter to you.” [19:05] “I think that what we all can do is start to decide what we need help with, how we feel about asking for it, and who do we feel comfortable asking for the help from. Ultimately, we sometimes think that asking for help is a sign of weakness.” [25:43] Resources Mentioned Check out the full episode page here Find Life Coaching for Women Physicians Online Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky on Facebook | Instagram Subscribe to Life Coaching for Women Physicians on Apple Podcasts Podcast production by the team at Counterweight Creative Related Episodes Episode 81: Say "Yes" to Yourself Episode 87: When Old Thoughts Resurface Episode 79: Do More of What Works