How to find your chosen family

For some of us, our families of origin might show up the way we need them to. But, if that's not the case, we may have found a group of friends we feel more 'at home' with than anyone else. How do we go about finding these 'chosen families', and how do we continue to nourish them as we age? Also, if your partner isn't picking up their share of the domestic load, how do you confront them about it?