67. Taking the red pill – Angelo Dilullo

This episode is in my mind one of the most powerful on this podcast so far. What is spoken  about is both deep and light and incomprehensible and self-evident at the same time. Is it possible to end individual suffering in this lifetime? Yes, it is. Angelo Dilullo, a medical doctor and the author of ”Awake: It’s your turn”, is living proof of that, and in his book he eloquently points out the ways you can go about achieving just that. You don’t need to go anywhere. It may take some time, but at the same time there is only this moment, and awakening to a deeper and more truthful reality where you rid yourself of the illusion of separation and time is accessible to you always. Always and everywhere you are. ”It's a lot like taking the red pill in the movie ’The Matrix’”, Angelo says. Or, say many who have experienced it, like returning to the magical state of early childhood. ”You are stepping foot on a path that is very mysterious, and it gets more mysterious as things go on. There are aspects of it you just cannot prepare for. And that's good, it has to be that way. Because the seemingly separate identity is deeply rooted in our personality and identity structures. When you come to the roots of that identity, the defense mechanisms really start to come online, and you feel ’if I take another step I'll be totally in the unknown’. When you are totally ready to look thoroughly into what you are (and what you are not) by self inquiry, a one-pointed approach and other inner avenues, you will experience the dissolution of seeming barriers that were never there. ”The strange thing is that what goes away internally is so profound that you would have never been able to imagine what it's like when it's not there”, Angelo says. ”We have a seeming sense of the separate one that moves from moment to moment or collects experiences. It seems that that's what we want to have here, this agency, this ability to manipulate external experiences. But what you ultimately realize is that that is what is causing all our suffering, all our struggle and all our feelings of insecurity, lack and scarcity.” Strange things happen: Even the sense of being in a body goes away. ”It becomes impossible to differentiate between what I am experiencing and what you are experiencing. But at the same time you don't lose the ability to raise your hand when someone calls your name.” It is a question of a relative world and an absolute world, ”and I can operate in the relative world”. It is not about shedding all that one has collected in life and that has made one feel safe. ”It’s about clear-seeing. It's about looking closely enough at what is actually happening to see it for what it is.” After the first awakening there is a honeymoon. But then the work begins towards deeper realization, and there will be shadow phases. It is also not about pure bliss. It is more like equanimity. And it is not about getting rid of emotions. Emotions are still there but experienced with equanimity. It is the resistance to emotions that is the problem when we identify with the mind. Angelo Dilullo’s own awakening happened from a place of desperation. Hear him tell about when ”the bottom fell out” and when ”the universe disappeared”. Angelo also touches on quantum physics and a possible collective awakening. ”What we are talking about here was woo-woo 20 years ago, but pretty soon it will be mainstream.” Angelo’s book: https://tinyurl.com/nb2ma4ww Angelo’s website: www.simplyalwaysawake.com Angelo’s Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/SimplyAlwaysAwake