214: Parental Burnout with Shelley Kemmerer, PA-C

Parents have experienced burnout for generations, but it’s only recently that parent burnout has been recognized as something that needs support. Today’s guest is making a difference in this space, helping parents and families with overall mental and physical wellness. Join us to learn more! Shelley Kemmerer PA-C is the founder of Run Tell Mom, LLC. She is a licensed physician assistant who is certified in parental burnout prevention by The Training Institute for Parental Burnout, the world’s leading training institute on parental burnout. She helps parents and caregivers with live-in children navigate transitions throughout their parenting journey. Shelley provides personalized, customizable resources through one-on-one consultations, collaborative workshops, and master classes with a goal to optimize the parenting experience while filling the space beyond clinical care. Show Highlights: Shelley’s path to the work she does today to help parents How Shelley saw the need for parental burnout resources after the birth of her youngest child Shelley’s unique perspective as a PA and a mom who realized that families need extra support Why Shelley’s social media goals are to allow collaborative discussions with providers, parents, and support specialists--and to bring awareness to available resources How expectation vs. reality is a wide divide in parenthood Why parents need connection, support circles, and therapy; the problem is that they don’t know whether to ask a doula, midwife, pediatrician, or therapist What Shelley noticed from her perspective as a parent: Very brief visits to healthcare providers with not enough time to address all the important issues Difficulties in returning to work after a baby’s birth, especially for those in the healthcare field Contributing factors to parental burnout: perfectionism (competing with other parents to have everything “in order”), social media expectations, limited parental leave, and individualism How parents are balancing “stacked plates” of productivity goals at work, extracurricular activities for kids, keeping a clean home, self-care, and more! How COVID has brought an upheaval in many families and homes that is exhausting, even in dual-parent households, but even more so for single parents Tips for prevention of burnout: division of labor between parents, good sleep, exercise, healthy nutrition, awareness of signs of depression and anxiety, connecting with others, etc. How to support parents in getting good sleep--and why it’s vitally important for many reasons! Top resources for parents that Shelley recommends: Postpartum Support International, Call 2-1-1, social media support groups, and other local support groups Three defining hallmarks of parental burnout: overwhelming significant exhaustion related to the parental role, emotional distancing from one’s child or children, lack of joy or fulfilling pleasure in being a parent (this would be a distinct change in how you WERE as a parent to how you are today) Differences between depression/anxiety and burnout Why these discussions about burnout are difficult to have How to take things off your plate by “triaging” them into what’s urgent and not-so-urgent Parting words from Shelley: “You CAN feel better. There are small steps you can take to make gradual changes to improve what might have gone on for months or years. Have more self-compassion for yourself that you are doing what you can right now. It’s not a sign of weakness if you ask for help. Parents are beautiful, awesome people.” Resources: Email Shelley: [email protected]  Check out her website: www.runtellmom.com  Find Shelley on Instagram. Find support: Postpartum