259: Journey Through Infertility and Having a Gestational Carrier with Lizzie Smith

We know that family building can happen in many different ways. Today’s show highlights one of the most harshly judged routes to having a child. Let’s take an insightful look at the beautiful process of surrogacy, also known as gestational surrogacy. This family-building option can be something that brings out the best in us as humans! Join us for the conversation! Today’s personal story comes from Lizzie Smith, a 40-year-old school administrator who is the mother of 17-month-old James. She and her husband went through almost a decade of infertility before their miracle baby boy was born. Lizzie explains surrogacy to us, along with why people might need a gestational carrier. She also shares common misconceptions about surrogacy and why there is such judgment around this topic, which prompts many rude and hurtful comments from others.  Show Highlights: A look at Lizzie’s journey: trying to get pregnant, having tests done, seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, and going through the long process of four failed IVF transfers Why they considered surrogacy after the fourth failed IVF attempt–and felt hopeful for the first time in years How the long process of surrogacy began in 2018 with an agency and Lizzie and her husband, the intended parents (IPs) Why it’s a long and difficult process to choose a surrogate, a person with whom you are choosing a unique relationship How going through the surrogacy process during COVID added another layer of difficulty How the surrogacy process began for Lizzie with multiple tests and medical clearance for their chosen surrogate–with many opportunities for roadblocks along the way How their embryo transfer took place in late 2020 after all the contracts and legal documents were signed How the pregnancy progressed with Lizzie and her surrogate texting and communicating almost daily How Lizzie and her husband were able to be present at the birth because COVID had calmed down  How Lizzie’s relationship with her surrogate continues today How the surrogacy process brought unique challenges for Lizzie How years of frustrating infertility brought many negative feelings to Lizzie about her “broken body” How Lizzie dealt with the comments and opinions from others about her surrogacy choice–and felt pressure to “prove” herself as a person worthy of parenthood Common misconceptions about surrogacy and the reasons people choose this option Why support is important to intended parents going through surrogacy What Lizzie wants people to know and understand about surrogacy Resources: Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! I’d love to hear from you! Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.   Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!