260: Immigration and Culture Shock: Coping Through PPD and PPA with Eszter Kalman

Perinatal mental health is important for every new mom, but there are extra challenges for moms who are immigrants living in a country and culture that are unfamiliar. Such is the story of today’s guest. Join us to hear how she overcame many difficulties to turn her trauma into her renewed purpose to help others! Eszter Kalman is a mom of two who struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. She experienced the loneliness of motherhood after moving to the US from her native Hungary. She shares with us what it was like to discover her new life as a new mother and immigrant and how she learned to cope with the cultural differences that met her at every turn. Eszter also faced the difficulty of transitioning into motherhood after losing her own mother in Hungary and living in the US with none of her family nearby. It was her postpartum journey that led her to make meaning of her own experience by going back to school to become a therapist and help other moms. She has worked as a Helpline volunteer for Postpartum Support International and the Postpartum Health Alliance of San Diego for many years. From her beginnings in Hungary to time spent living in Spain and Italy, Eszter has resided in San Diego for the past 12 years and proudly calls it her home. She loves the sunny weather, exploring parks and beaches, and going for long walks with her dog. Show Highlights: How Eszter experienced culture shock when she first moved to California as an immigrant from Hungary and quickly married her husband and found herself pregnant just a few months later How Eszter, as a new mom, had to adjust to her husband’s family, which was very different from what she was used to as far as honoring privacy How her pregnancy was easy with no mention of the possibility of postpartum depression and anxiety How postpartum depression and anxiety kicked in almost immediately when she and her newborn son went home, and she felt alone and unsupported How Eszter missed her mother in the first days of motherhood because she has passed away a couple of years earlier How Eszter realized that she wasn’t enjoying motherhood and was jealous of other moms who were How Eszter learned not to express her true feelings because she was invalidated by everyone around her How one nurse made an impact as the one person who understood Eszter and tried to help her How Eszter finally got connected to a therapist and found the help she needed, but was hesitant to reveal that she was getting therapy because of the cultural stigma  Why it became healing for Eszter to be able to openly talk about her experience and share it with others without shame and guilt Why Eszter loves the work she does today in private practice to help other moms with perinatal mental health How Eszter is creating resources, like a course and podcast, especially for other Hungarians Why turning your trauma into your purpose makes meaning out of your experience Eszter’s hopeful message for new moms: “The sooner you learn to ask for help when you need it doesn’t mean that you are weak; it means that you want to remain strong.” Resources: Connect with Eszter Kalman and Golden Tears Therapy: Website, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! I’d love to hear from you! Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.   Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!