54. First Phone, Hard Conversations, Sex Talk

On last week’s episode, I brought up the topic of kids having access to the internet and porn. It might seem like a far-fetched idea for a podcast about toddlers, but these issues come up a lot sooner than you think. Today I’ll discuss how to introduce these concepts to your children slowly and gently, without overwhelming them with more information than they’re ready for. This episode is all about planting the seeds early for blossoming conversations. The internet, texting, and social media have ushered in a new era of parenting, but having an open dialogue with your kids from an early age will encourage them to come to you with their problems later on, and develop the valuable skills they’ll need to be able to tackle tricky situations by themselves as well. The Finer Details of This Episode: Phone use is a tough topic that will come up sooner than you think, and it will lead to other issues such as access to the internet You can start having miniature conversations now to help develop the skills they’ll need when they enter the tween years and their peers are using phones or internet The idea that someone would wait until their child is 11 or 12 to have “The Talk” with their kids is astounding to me - there is way too much information to cover all at once The mechanics of sex are the easiest part of this conversation Feelings, hormones, masturbation, and the pleasure aspect are much harder to discuss, but very important You don’t need to wait until they start asking you questions, but look out for signs that you’re giving more information than they need If you’re approaching this as one single conversation in your “teacher voice,” your kid will not listen to you - these conversations should happen on the fly, often in the car When you keep it casual, the information just becomes information - it’s not loaded Use anatomically correct body terms, but also teach them slang so that they understand what other people might call them Arming kids with the right information will help in matters of sexual consent later on Have a book with labels to refer to when you talk about sex and puberty How I introduced the idea of masturbation in my own parenting experience Your child will probably get their first phone around 10 or 11 Prepare your child and let them know what to expect during puberty Having an open dialogue will encourage your kids to come to you later when they experience a sticky situation Why you may need to track your child’s phone as they get older There’s a fine balance between giving your kids privacy and room to make mistakes, but also making sure they’re safe Kids need to be able to make their own mistakes - this helps them develop valuable skills and problem solving as young adults Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices