Navigating Race, Gender & Motherhood So White

Nefertiti Austin’s son was 6 yrs old when she realized he’d “have to learn that his race and gender could get him killed," she writes in Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. That's not a lesson white boys have to learn, and that's one consequence of living in a country where motherhood is so white. As Nefertiti points out in her 2019 book, the default “parent” in American culture is a married white person with white children. Her 15 year old son is now 5'10 and wears a size 10 shoe. He's not an adult, but Nefertiti knows that many people are far more likely to look at her son and see a threat than a child deserving protection and nourishment. "He is seen as a Black man in America, so the protections that your sons have, he does not have," Nefertiti told Jen. In this episode, Jen, Janet & Nefertiti discuss: * The "talk" parents have with Black boys * Becoming a parent via adoption & the foster care system * Helping boys navigate gender norms * The parenthood stories we don't tell * The wisdom, burdens & challenges of Black motherhood * Making space for & including parents of all cultures Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: nefertitiaustion.com -- Nefertiti's website Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America, by Nefertiti Austin Supporting Black Boys' Mental Health (w Chandra White-Cummings) -- ON BOYS episode mentioned at 16:30 How I'm Teaching My Black Children to Thrive in a World That Isn't Fair -- Nefertiti's Washington Post article (mentioned at 26:38) Critical Race Theory -- article by Nefertiti (mentioned at 27:45) Becoming -- Michelle Obama's memoir (mentioned at 32:14) The Truth About Parenting Teen Boys -- classic Building Boys post (mentioned at 36:13) Need help with your boys? Subscribe to Jen’s newsletter, Building Boys Bulletin Opt-in at Boys Alive! for your free guide: Boys & Big Emotions with Janet Sponsor Spotlight: NextGenMen Use the ON BOYS coupon code to save 15% on their Raising Next Gen Men e-course Sponsor Spotlight: Sambucol Use the BOYS15 discount code to SAVE 15% off your next order of $9.99 or more   Our Sponsors: * Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS * Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out Lumen: lumen.me/ONBOYS Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy