255: How to Be Courageous (especially when it's hard)
It's easy to talk about being courageous - but how do you actually take action when it feels like a huge risk? Whether it's the decision to enter a relationship, or to leave a relationship, or all of the moments within a relationship when you might have to make a choice that feels a little edgy or scary - today's episode is going to focus on the practical steps to taking action...courageously. Don't just "feel the fear and do it anyway" - learn how to prepare yourself so that you stand the best chance of succeeding in a moment that requires your courage. As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: GreenChef.com is a USDA certified organic company, with a wide variety of meal plans to make having healthier food easy and convenient for you. And they’re offering you $125 off plus free shipping- just to give them a try! 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Resources: Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship. I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) Support the podcast Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters Transcript: Neil Sattin: So let's get on with this conversation about courage and how to actually be courageous. Now, the way I see it, courage is required before you get into a relationship, while you're in a relationship, and if you decide that you're going to leave the relationship, that requires courage too. Courage is required all the way through when you are, let's say, meeting people going out on dates, it may require courage for you to ask someone out and it may require courage for you to follow up with a the person, it might require courage for you to ask for what you want. Neil Sattin: There was recently a conversation happening in the Relationship Alive Facebook community, where someone was talking about how it's challenging to them, they've been going out with people who are spending all their time talking about themselves instead of asking any questions. So how do you show up in a situation like that? You might need to get courageous and be vulnerable or put the other person on the spot in order to ask for what you need, or conversely, it might take courage for you, even though someone else seems really into you, if you're not really into them, to put an end to your dating before it gets too serious, before it gets even more challenging to extricate yourself from a difficult and not entirely fulfilling situation. Now, when you're in a relationship, there are all kinds of places where courage is required, it might be required to set a boundary with another person, or again, to ask for what you want if you're not getting it, or to initiate a hard conversation. Neil Sattin: Like for instance, a conversation about something that you really want that you're not getting, just as an example, and then so often those challenging conversations might go a little bit off the rails or might not go exactly how you would want them to go, and it takes courage to follow up on those conversations rather than just letting things go and fostering resentment. It requires courage often to make a choice when the right decision isn't quite clear to you. It requires courage when you need to be honest with a person, even though it might hurt their feelings, and this kind of courage is really important for having relationships that are alive and authentic and where there is continually energy being generated to keep you excited and engaged in a relationship. It turns out that if you're not able to show up in those ways to be vulnerable, to take risks, then your relationship ends up being a big story of avoiding those things, and if you avoid the things that have lots of energy or juice to them, in one area, then it's likely that you're going to end up avoiding the energy and the juice in the areas that are more exciting, like your romance and your desire, and your sex, and your adventure and those kinds of things. Neil Sattin: The thing is though, it's easy to talk about being courageous. Yes, you have to be courageous. You have to feel your fear. You have to just move forward, but the reality is that that's super challenging. If it weren't challenging, it would be easy to do, we'd be doing it all the time, and I wouldn't be having this conversation with you, but there's more to it than simply being courageous. There are things that you can expect to happen within you and in a situation that requires your courage, and that's what we're going to talk about today, 'cause I want you to be able to prepare for an act of courage. I want you to have an understanding of what's going to happen. I want to set you up for the best possible outcome. And in the end, I want you to be able to take that experience and build on it, so that's... Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode? Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!