{The 4-1-1}

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.