Getting Off Codependency Autopilot and Becoming Conscious: Cheryl Fidelman

At the top of the episode, Sherry and Carla talk about what “breadcrumbing” is in dating, and what to do if you think someone is just offering you crumbs. Then, they take a Love Fix Question on how long it takes to unlearn codependent habits and welcome Conscious Codependence Coach Cheryl Fidelman to the show. Cheryl talks about her mission to eradicate trauma from the human condition, one nervous system at a time. Cheryl developed her attunement practice called Feeling Without Thinking to help her clients heal from trauma and become the person they were inherently born to be. She talks about the three tenets of co-dependence, how to give yourself compassion if you have been or currently are co-dependent, and why self-love is the North Star for true independence and healing.   What You’ll Hear In This Episode: A Love Fix Question: how long does it take to get over being codependent? Cheryl started focusing on codependence 6 years into her work, as she saw it was an epidemic that plagued so many of her clients.  What are the signs of conscious codependency? What are the three tenets of co-dependence? The importance of having compassion for yourself if you did end up in a relationship with a narcissist or if you are codependent. Dating is a great way to practice our skills, but should we wait to heal ourselves before diving in? Find out more about Cheryl’s Conscious Codependent Listening Program, along with ways to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, a break-up, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence. How do our romantic relationships mimic the environment we grew up in as children? How is codependency rooted in unhealed trauma? Recovery doesn’t mean you never have any codependent actions, but that you are conscious of what you are doing, and are mindful about your patterns and actions.   Tweetables: “All of our unhealed trauma can be found in the filters through which we listen.” - Cheryl “Codependency is an epidemic. In almost every one of my clients, I could see big, red blinking lights of codependence.” - Cheryl “I think it's very empowering as a codependent to not victimize yourself. Because then you recognize you have choices.”  - Carla “Codependency goes beyond being with an addict or alcoholic. It could also be someone who's attracted to a narcissist or could be people-pleasing and needing validation.” - Sherry “I focus through the lens of trauma healing because I look at codependence as one of the most obvious ways that we demonstrate our unhealed trauma in relationships.” - Cheryl “Codependency is incubated in some kind of wound that you had. It starts with that inner child wound and you're reacting to triggers related to those wounds. Whether it was that your parents neglected you, you were invisible, you were abused or you were abandoned.” - Sherry   Connect with Us! The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Become a Member - Codependency Special - Wake Up Recovery  - $1 trial membership Join the Narcissistic Abuse and Codependent Relationship Transformation Challenge FB group  The Love Fix Relationship Quiz   Sign up for a Connection call with Sherry https://sherrygaba.com/coaching/life-coaching/    Holiday Special: Sign up for Sherry’s Inner Circle for 1/2 off and get 6 months FREE!   Find Out More:    Sherry Website | Instagram | Facebook | Love Smacked | Wake Up Recovery for Codependents and Toxic Relationships | Sherry Gaba’s Coaching Packages   Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp   Cheryl Fidelman Website | Instagram   Today’s episode is sponsored by Carla’s book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry’s book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.  Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode.