How toxic relationships, trauma, and stress can affect our sex life with Rafaella Fiallo

Sherry and Carla start with a Love Fix question from a listener wanting to know when the right time is to get a therapist, which leads to a discussion on the important things to note before jumping into couples therapy. They then welcome Rafaella Fiallo, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Sexual Liberation Activist, Educator, and Therapist specializing in relationship, sex, and trauma therapy. Rafaella owns a therapy private practice, Healing Exchange LLC, and co-founded Afrosexology, a sex-positive pleasure-based sexuality education business. Rafaella talks about her guide to Sexual Self-Care, and group for Trauma Survivors, which is basically a sex-ed class with a trauma-informed lens to let people know they can take up space, in whatever sexual way feels good to them.   Want to work with Sherry and Carla together? Head to  www.thelovefix.com to sign up for the 6 Week Live Coaching Program.    Connect with Us! The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Get 1:1 Dating & Relationship Coaching  The Love Fix Relationship Quiz   Sherry Website | Sign up for your FREE strategy call for life coaching/psychotherapy with Sherry Sherry Gaba | Psychotherapist, Life Coach & Author | Join Sherry’s Inner Circle for healing from Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency, and Love Addiction -($1 trial or 1/2 off 6 months free)     Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp   Rafaella Website | Instagram | A Guide to Sexual Self-Care | Afrosexology | Group Therapy    Sign up to be in TDR database: https://www.threedayrule.com/CarlaRomo   Today’s episode is sponsored by Carla’s book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry’s book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.   Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode.   What You’ll Hear In This Episode:   Why it’s important for couples to seek out support and coaching or therapy before things go wrong in a relationship.  In order for couples therapy to work, both people must be committed to making the relationship work. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time.  Rafaella talks about what being sex-positive means to her.  Labels can be liberating, or they can be limiting.  How can a toxic relationship and even just trauma or stress affect our sex life?  We have stress and trauma every day, and then we can have it from childhood, PTSD, and other experiences that are going to trickle into our intimacy, our relationship, and just our overall body response.  Check out Rafaella’s guide to sexual self-care and community, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence. You don’t have to have sexual trauma, you don’t even have to have a big trauma. If you’ve just been under stress and duress and oppression like we all are, that can absolutely have an impact on different facets of our life and lived experience, especially our sexual one. How can we support consent culture and boundaries as a community?  Why is victim blaming so prevalent, and what can we do about it?  Rafaella discusses how our body and nervous system can confuse excitement for fear.    Disclaimer: The Love Fix Podcast content has been made available for informational, entertainment, and educational purposes only. The Love Fix Podcast is distinctly different from coaching, counseling, psychotherapy, or psychoanalysis and does not deal with the diagnosis or treatment of emotional problems. The Love Fix podcast does not constitute medical consultation or treatment, health insurance does not apply.