The Four Attachment Styles in Love with Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman

We kick off this week with a Love Fix question regarding dating in your 40’s as a single parent, and invite you to open up your world to other single parents! Then, we welcome Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman to discuss the Four Attachment Styles in love, how to know which one you are, and why certain ones always seem to attract their opposite. We also talk about what really makes a narcissist want to work on their behavior, how to spot red flags as you are out there on the dating scene, and how to know when to call it quits.   Carista Luminare, Ph.D., has more than 40 years experience as a counselor, consultant and educator to individuals, couples and families. In her counseling practice, she integrates her lifelong research on early bonding patterns and how they impact our identity and our adult relationship dynamics.   Lion Goodman, PCC, is CEO of Luminary Leadership Institute and creator of the Clear Beliefs Method. He has 35 years experience as an executive coach, counselor, and healer. In 1984, he founded The Goodman Group, an executive search and consulting firm which served more than 250 companies and C-suite executives during its 18-year history.   What You’ll Hear In This Episode:   Our real and transparent feelings about sharing our private life online as a therapist and coach. A Love Fix question about dating after 40 as a single parent, and who we really feel you should take a look at. Lion and Carista share their individual and joint interesting and impressive backgrounds as healers, educators, coaches and more. We discuss what trauma bonds are, why we have them, and how our attachment style is influenced by the relationship with our primary caregiver. More about the four attachment/love styles: secure, insecure anxious, insecure avoidant, and insecure traumatic. Why people with insecure attachment styles and codependency tend to seek out narcissists and avoidants. A free tool to take a quiz on Lion and Carista’s site to see what attachment style you may be, along with resources from Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency and gaining confidence.  Some red flags to look for when dating, and what to do at the first sign of them popping up. Also, how to know when to call it quits and walk away. The narcissist and codependent agree on one thing — who is most important! A narcissist can possibly heal if they are willing to care about the feelings of their partner, own their emotions, and work to repair the situation. Yes, codependent behavior can be self absorbed as well! Is it possible for a partner with secure attachment and another with insecure attachment to work? Advice for a situation where one partner goes to therapy and tries to work on things, and the other partner doesn’t.   Tweetables:   “Our judgements are just reflections of things we need to work on.” — Carla “The reason narcissists and codependents get together is they most agree on who is most important!” — Lion “If you want time with your partner, then ask for it. If you want space from your partner, then ask for it. Just do it in a loving way.” — Carista   Connect with Us!      The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Wake up Recovery for Codependency, Love Addiction, and Toxic Relationships — $1 trial membership    The Love Fix Relationship Quiz      Get professional online counseling with BetterHelp by clicking here.  Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.    Sherry Website | Instagram | Facebook | Love Smacked | Wake Up Recovery for Codependents    Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp    Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman Website | Cleaf Beliefs   Find Out More:  Co-Dependents Anonymous  Al-Anon