TPJ 91: What To Do When Your Kids Use Inappropriate Language

In this episode I’ll be addressing a question from a member of our Present Play community.  Tracy from Georgia asked what to do when your children use rude or inappropriate language, and also how to address their negative self-talk.  Thank you for your question Tracy! You are certainly not alone in this struggle. All parents are presented with these challenges (including myself). There are a few ways to go about it, but I'd like to talk about my preferred approach.  [04:59] Keep in mind: Childhood development is a slow process. Changes are gradual and it takes time, repetition, and consistency. [06:22] Typical approach #1: Authoritarian Approach [09:02] Typical approach #2: Permissive Approach [11:20] 3rd option: Be calm but firm and address the situation. [12:16] We have to be responsive to the situation, but not reactive. [12:30] Step 1: Pause, breathe, and calm yourself down. Then state clearly and calmly to yourself and your child what you DO want to see. [13:23] Say to yourself "I will respond when I've gathered myself and collected my thoughts." [15:14] Step 2: Calmly explain what will happen if they continue. Just a logical consequence for continuing. [17:00] It's not a threat or punishment. We're trying to teach them what the results of certain behaviors are. [17:34] Step 3: Follow through immediately. [21:13] How to address a child's negative self talk. [22:38] Center yourself. This is a normal part of childhood and every child needs to work through it.  [25:22] Help them focus on the right things. [25:53] We're trying to teach our children what advances their agenda and what takes away from it. [30:36] The energy at which we have these interactions is the most important factor. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.