Doing Things Badly – TPW351
If you're like me, you aren't comfortable doing things badly--especially if others can see you do them! While there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable, holding ourselves back all the time can be life-limiting. Doing things badly can be very productive The fear of trying something new can limit our lives and self-growth Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Have you heard that saying? I have, and it’s something I internalized from a young age. In fact, as a recovering perfectionist, I think I internalized it as “Anything worth doing is only worth doing perfectly.” As a result, I’ve missed out on a lot of things because I didn’t want to do things badly--and I especially didn’t want to be seen doing something badly. I almost didn't launch the podcast because of fear of not doing it right (whatever that means!) and what that would say about me as a person. I've realized recently that despite the lessons I've learned over the years, I'm still holding myself back. I want to launch a YouTube channel but hesitation about looking silly keeps me from moving forward. The truth is, though, we can never do anything well without doing it badly first. We need to learn to give ourselves grace and permission to do things badly. We also need to redefine failure. Doing something badly isn't failure; not even trying is. We haven't failed until we've given up. But we don't have to master everything either. Sometimes we try, do it badly, and decide it’s not for us. Some things we do once or twice just for the experience, not for mastery, and not to prove anything to ourselves or anyone else. What holds us back? Self-doubt When we're not sure we have the ability, smarts, skill, . . . whatever. This leads to procrastination as we wait to be “ready” or for the conditions to be “just right”. This often arises because we have unrealistic (and unachievable) expectations of ourselves. As one writer has said in Forbes, “The problem with focusing on the need to do it well is that you end up focusing on why it’s not good enough, and this begins a vicious spiral that can lead to stress, frustration and depression.” Fear of failure Why are we afraid of failure? What story do we tell ourselves (maybe without realizing it) about what failure means--specifically, what it means about us? Failure can feel like a death to us. But I keep reminding myself of something I heard Brooke Castillo say once: by not trying, you’re failing ahead of time. If the worst that can happen is that you won’t accomplish it . . . well, that’s what you’re doing now! Fear of other people’s judgment Why does it matter to us if others judge us negatively when we do something poorly? Part of it may be related to our primitive brain--our survival depends on being part of the tribe; isolation is deadly. The important question: Whose opinion of you really matters? Who is the "they" whose judgment you're worried about? This topic really is all about thought work. It's about managing our own thinking and getting out of our own way. This often starts with awareness. * Recognize when you’re doing it--when there’s something you need or want to do but you’re not taking action on it . * Do the work. Ask yourself the question: what is it that’s holding me back? Dig deep and at each level, ask yourself why. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you try and do it badly? When I think of this question I think of my podcasting friend Dave who,