#50: "I Have Experienced Sexual Trauma In My Marriage... Now What?"

"I was wondering if you could help me. My husband and I have been on the road of recovery for over a year now. We have really been progressing and we still have big hurdles which I know are normal but some of my hurdles I feel like I’m really struggling to grieve through. The disclosures that I am struggling to cope with are: that my husband has admitted to using my body as he has fantasized about other women and at times has come to me for intimacy as an outlet of his arousal from thinking about those other women too. Is there any therapeutic practices that would specifically help with this trauma? I find that I’m dealing with a lot of emotions of feeling violated and used, the worst fact being that it was by own husband who I thought I could trust and who I thought was keeping our promises of fidelity. I guess I still find myself drowning in this emotional pain. Sometimes when my husband expresses his intimacy interest I can find myself internally panicking and instantly turn off any feelings of sexuality. I have boundaries up of where physical interaction only happens after feeling emotionally, spiritually, and physically close. I know my husband’s sex drive is so much higher than mine and he is seeking emotional, etc attachment through sex whereas I need those as a foundation to sex. He expresses that he feels like I “hold all the cards” when it comes to our sexual intimacy. But I feel like he broke all the ties of security, trust, and safety. I feel like these are consequences of his past actions. What can I do? Will consistent steps of recovery be the cure of dealing with these complicated emotions and memories or do I need specific help to move through these insecurities? (If the latter, what kind?)" We would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question and sign up! Join us at our 3 Day "Rising Son" Men's Conference, September 23-25 2021 in Logan, Utah. This conference is for men who are ready to step into higher-level recovery. Sign up on our website: https://risingsonconference.com Brannon Patrick | "The Expert": Follow Brannon on instagram @brannon_patrick. For more info, find him at brannonpatrick.com. Check out Brannon's Boundary Bootcamp on his website. Tyler Patrick | "The Wandering Therapist": Tyler is a co-founder Love Strong (lovestrong.com). Check out the Love Strong YouTube Channel for more therapy tips and skills and videos about WHOLEHEARTED living and Christian Based Recovery. Instagram: @love.strong.organization