Are You an 'Emotional Thermostat’ or a Thermometer?
Treasure Time Podcast: Growing Up Happy
Title: Are You an 'Emotional Thermostat’ or a Thermometer?
Episode 11
About our hosts:
Sophia
A creative entrepreneur who focuses on ways to tackle the root of children's mental health through play and secure relationships. Due to her own challenging experiences in childhood, Sophia went on to establish a thriving Play & Creative Arts Therapy charity to support other children who have experienced trauma. Her focus is on helping therapists, businesses and charities have more of an impact for children and families that they work with through coaching, strategy, fundraising and mentoring.
Nicole
Nicole is a mum to two young boys, who also has over 20 years of brand marketing experience. She is a previous Chair Trustee at Clear Sky Charity and has past experience on the Ella’s Kitchen board. Her roles have included Marketing Director, Head of Ella’s-ness, Global Brand Director with responsibility of creating and building one brand inside and out – including the wellbeing and culture of the team. Nicole was instrumental in growing Ella’s into a multi-million pound international business, driven by the mission of creating healthy children.
About Treasure Time
Our vision is to drive connected, happy parent-child relationships, for the benefit of the whole family. Our mission and passion is to educate parents in how to become happy, mindful and confident in connecting with their own children through play.
Resources
Treasure Time website https://www.treasuretime.co.uk/
Treasure Time digital course for parents - https://www.treasuretimeapp.co.uk/shop-page
Treasure Time Instagram @treasuretimeuk
Treasure Time Facebook https://m.facebook.com/treasuretimeuk/
Value bombs and tweetables:
- I'm pretty calm and patient as a person, saying that my boys do certainly know how to press all my buttons at once sometimes. So yeah, it can be tricky in those moments to remember that my goal is to be like that emotional thermostat. Not thermometer in the room rising and rising – Nicole
- When you become aware of how you're behaving and start acting more like an emotional thermostat by tuning in and containing your own feelings, you start seeing a big shift in the levels of calmness at home – Sophia
- So when I did let my emotions over spill with my children, it would make me so sad because I was like, why am I doing this with the little people that I love most in the whole world? – Nicole
- When you feel like you've reached the end of your tether, and you've reached that boiling point, we've already missed the opportunity for learning – Sophia
- When it comes to regulating our emotions, we should aim to be a thermostat, not a thermometer… the thermostat is in charge of the whole environment through its awareness and through its ability to sense when things are changing… we can do this in an emotional capacity for our children by noticing their feelings and when they're escalating and adapting our behaviour accordingly to maintain the emotional temperature. This is the opposite of being a thermometer. When we act like as a thermometer we're unaware of our own feelings and behaviour. And when we allow our emotional temperature to rise in line with the child's emotional temperature, they both just go up together... so the thermometer is actually incapable of making changes to the environment. And this is what happens to us when we are unaware of our feelings - Sophia
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