Ask Amy: My Kid Is Always Saying "That's Mine!"

It's developmentally appropriate for a toddler to shout "That's mine!" every five seconds instead of sharing. That's because toddlers and preschoolers are still learning what sharing even means. So what should a parent do when they have two little ones who are fighting over every toy? Our listener Katie sent us a message on Instagram asking: "I have two boys, the older almost two and a half, the younger a one-year-old (they're 18 months apart). My 2 1/2 year-old just says nonstop, "Nooo, this is mine!" and takes everything away from his little brother all day long. I'm constantly having to keep the younger one away from the older one, otherwise he will try to kick or hit him. It's frustrating and exhausting, and I know it's a normal stage, but I also feel like there must be something I can do to help." First, a parent should focus on the kicking or hitting, which is the immediate danger. Give that behavior a firm no, and then separate the children as necessary. Don't feel like you have to enforce playing together among kids who are just too young to share. Sharing is a behavior children can only really learn when they're three or four, as they develop what psychologists call "theory of mind." Sarah MacLaughlin, a social worker and parent educator, recommends that parents "sportscast" what's happening when a child shouts "That's mine!" to give more complete voice to what they're feeling, since they don't have the language to do so yet. For example: "Oh no! Your brother wants to play with the dump truck, but you also want to play with the dump truck. And now you feel so mad!" Here are some other resources for advice and tips on getting through the "that's mine!" and the no-sharing stages. Rest assured, your children will eventually learn what sharing is, even if they're terrible at it right now. -Sarah S. MacLaughlin for Zero to Three: "Helping Young Children with Sharing" -Nurtured First: "3 Tips for the Toddler 'MINE' Stage" -Harvey Karp, Happiest Toddler on the Block Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com