#8 How to Manage Conflicts w/Louisa Weinstein

Conflicts are good. They are opportunities for change. And they can be resolved. Whether you have a fight with your neighbor, a disagreement with your partner or just a frustrating colleague, you can learn a lot from your conflicts. Especially, if you are willing to look inwards. I speak with Louisa Weinstein, an expert in conflict resolution and the author of The Seven Principles of Conflict Resolution. She will provide us with a framework for conversations as well as tools and techniques that help us resolve conflicts more effectively. LOUISA TALKS ABOUT-       Why conflicts are a good thing-       The process of conflict management and how you can approach each phase-       How you can identify your conflict patterns and what you can use them for-       How to create a conflict friendly cultureARE YOU TOO BUSY? HERE ARE THE KEY TAKEAWAYSI have collected the three most important takeaways from my conversation with Louisa. It was a really interesting talk; I learned a lot. I hope it inspires you to listen to the full episode. #1 Identify your patterns of conflictWe all have patterns in our conflicts. Some conflicts come from the same underlying reason, or some towards the same type of person. If you identify those patterns, you can communicate more clearly about your needs or fears. That will help you resolve your conflicts more effectively. #2 Our most intense conflicts happen when there is a violation of a fundamental need. We often discuss symptoms; you don't clean up after yourself, I want you to spend more time at home, I want to make the presentation - not you. But all that is just symptoms. Behind that is a violation of a fundamental need. Typically, these are what initiate your patterns of conflict. #3 Structured conversations in small units such as teams and families can prevent conflicts from escalating. It is hard to change the culture around conflicts. Especially if you are in a large organisation. Smaller units are better. A family of five or a team of six. That's where it is possible to change the culture of the conversations we have. In the episode, Louisa guides us through those conversations. 

Om Podcasten

Change is hard. You know that. For some reason, you don't always do what you set out to do. In 'What Monkeys Do', we talk with experts to find out what it takes to make a change - and make it stick. Why? Because success leaves clues, and we have more knowledge and experience than ever about what is required to change well. Let's find out what that is. So, if you are looking for insights, tools, and ideas to help you change yourself or the person standing next to you, you have come to the right place. In each episode, we will bring in a new guest and give you something you can use in your everyday - both at home and in the office.  The show is hosted by Morten Kamp Andersen (@mortenkamp), part psychologist, part finance guy and part just someone who struggles to change himself.