181: Why ‘giving choices’ doesn’t work – and what to do instead

‘Giving choices’ is a hot tool in the respectful parenting world. In the scripts, it usually goes like this: Child: “I want a snack!” Parent: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?” Child: “A banana, please!” And the parent hands over the banana. But when you actually try it in your own home, it usually looks more like this: Your child: “I want a snack!” You: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?” Your child: “I want cookies!” WHY IS THAT?! Why does it never ‘work’ the way it’s supposed to? Why doesn’t our child follow the script? There’s a simple and easy reason, and in this episode I break it down - and teach you the effective tool to use instead of giving choices. Join us for the FREE Setting Loving (and Effective!) Limits workshop Don’t forget - the FREE Setting Loving (and Effective!) Limits workshop is here! If you choose our self-directed FlexPath option, you can start right NOW, and get a new module as soon as you finish the previous one. Or if you want me to hold your hand every step of the way, the Guided Path option starts on Wednesday April 26. There’s even an option to sign up for suuuuper cheap group coaching calls with me if you’d like to do that after you enroll.

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Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!