73. Owning Our Sexuality for Ourselves and Our Patients with Dr. Sonia Wright
Many people don’t know what to say to their doctors if they have issues in their sex life. This is tough for us physicians too. We’re often not sure what to tell our patients because we aren’t comfortable with it too. Today’s guest, wants us all to join the discussion around this important and often neglected topic. To start helping patients with issues concerning sexuality you should: First, heal your own sexual issues Establish a setting in which patients feel comfortable with their vulnerability Communicate the idea that sexuality changes over a lifetime About Dr. Sonia Wright Dr. Sonia Wright is a board-certified radiologist, a trained sexual counselor, and a life coach (rumor has it, she has also worked in a sex toy store). She received her education from Stanford University, the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, the Mayo Clinic, and the University of Michigan. Dr. Sonia is on a mission to help women embrace their sexuality as well as end the emotional pain and isolation associated with sexual difficulties. She believes wholeheartedly that all women deserve to experience pleasurable sexual intimacy. Dr. Sonia has a natural ability to put people at ease while discussing sensitive issues related to sex. She enjoys combining this natural ability with her medical knowledge, sexual counseling skills, and life coaching tools to create her unique brand of sex coaching. She tackles the hard issues by normalizing the situation and sharing helpful information while coaching from a caring and humorous perspective. Healing Ourselves So We Can Help Others Most of us did not get training around sex and sexuality in medical school. Our patients often expect us to have answers. Yet, when we have our own issues around the topic, we may find ourselves unable to provide the help our patients require. Dr. Sonia wants us to consider our own sexuality first. We need to have connections with our own bodies before we can help others with theirs. Dr. Sonia urges us to examine our thoughts and personal wishes around sexuality. Once a connection between the mind and the body is established, you can begin to move forward and help other women do the same. Creating a Safe Space to Discuss Sexuality I get that a lot of people aren’t comfortable with this topic. But vulnerability is a necessary part of improvement. Dr. Sonia describes how to establish a “zone of sexual safety” so that women can get as comfortable as they need to be. When we can embrace vulnerability, we can make meaningful gains in whatever sexual issues we want to address. To create this safe setting, Dr. Sonia describes how to address topics of consent, emotional and physical safety, and desires. Sex is about pleasure, something everyone deserves. When this idea is prioritized, we can approach deeper issues. Homework for Women Physicians What can you do to address your own issues concerning sexuality? How can you help your patients feel more comfortable talking about their own? In This Episode The deficit that a lack of training in sex and sexuality creates [2:35] How to help patients get started on their journey [6:40] Getting comfortable with your journey of sexual self-discovery [11:50] Helping patients with a different libido than their partners [15:30] How sex drive changes over a lifetime [22:25] Quotes “As physicians, patients look to us to have an understanding about what to tell them about sex and sexuality. But we don’t have the training and may be struggling with our own issues.” [3:39] “When you are comfortable with your own sexuality and you realize that it doesn’t have to be perfect or the way society says it should be, then you make room to be able to talk to and help other people.” [6:22] “There’s no concept of normal, but society wants there to be a normal amount in terms of libido.” [17:13] “We adapt exercise routines and our nutrition for our changing body. We need to adapt our concept of sex and sexuality as well as our body changes.” [22:51] Resources Mentioned Find Dr. Sonia Wright online Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski Learn more about accredited coaching with Dr. Amelia Bueche Find Dr. Amelia Bueche Online Follow Dr. Amelia Bueche on Facebook | Instagram | YouTube Check out the full episode page here Find Life Coaching for Women Physicians Online Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky on Facebook | Instagram Subscribe to Life Coaching for Women Physicians on Apple Podcasts Podcast production by the team at Counterweight Creative